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I just received the most fantastic FIVE subject five-star notebook from my mother. Yesyesyesyesyesyes!!! Thank you, madre! Other writers out there will understand the feeling and perhaps artists with their sketch books and considerably more expensive photoshop software. The ink is in the pages, just waiting to be realized and the freshness of each section is so fiercely inviting. It demands my immediate attention. Perhaps some new deviations will find form on these promising sheets? Pshaw, not even a question.
Maybe.
I keep writing because... well, why?
With my soul so precariously bound between a void that I have brushed and fear and a life I am no longer willing to accept, why do I keep writing?
Because once, there was someone who used to check this profile on a regular basis- who read my words for the love of me and knew me for them. Whatever illusions exist on solid ground now, they are only illusions, because I am here, clean of the ghosts of shouts and pain.
Whatever ground that the person stands on now, whichever side of the void, if they touch this part of me again, I can't help but feel like I will somehow know that they have done so and brea
Devious Journal Entry
Hope, my friends.
Hope, to any who read this.
Hope is everything.
I Might As Well Be New To This Town
I seem bent on my own destruction.
My loves are vicious. Rather, my love, which is singular and a bitter drink when sipped alone.
My writing is empty. It is full of almosts and slightlys and halfway theres.
My life is a whirlwind. I fill it with tasks and phantom duties so that I can avoid the things I am too weak to try for.
I am a fool. In nearly every facet of life, I surrender to my own weaknesses instead of taking life as it should be.
And I'm cold and won't close the window. Masochism? Yeah, maybe.
It's time for some upheaval. Some self-revolution. My cells need to revolt and save my spirit from it's own deep and consuming sorro
What a Morning
This morning I had to wake up at 3:00 to finish my homework as I was exhausted out of my everlovin' mind by around 9:30 last night (insane.). I grumbled all the way downstairs, finished my paper in an hour and suddenly had two hours to kill. Meh. What do you do with two hours on a Wednesday morning in the almost-middle of February? You go outside of course. So that is what I did.
I very slowly got dressed, made a playlist, breathed, found a thick blanket, made some special hot chocolate, found a good pen, dug out that ridiculously thick coat that I refused to wear all through junior high because it went to my knees, and went outside.
And wh
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Mmm, yes. Your new notebook is quite fetching. I need one myself actually...